be as you wish to seem

I've spent part of today marking year 8 tests on Jesus, I think part of me only expects the keeno's and the christians to do well in this test as it involves a fair amount of memory recall (name the disciples...?? I have to look up the answer every time to check which ones are and aren't, not Luke apparently)  There are definitely a number of both in the class, Keeno's excused, the Christians in the class can't be deemed better than each other simply based on this test or any other test for that matter. It is so easy to think that Christianity boils down to an ability to know the facts and impress (I've been told this is wrong for so many years but I still don't listen). I know that study helps me to understand, but what does God want? A genuine heart, and worship in spirit and truth that doesn't always get it, or worship that gets 50/50 in a recall test? He wants genuine-ness!! (is that a word?)  I also understand that it comes down to grace but no matter how many times i'm told my nature prefers the concept of earning grace than just the free variety. I have to continually remind myself of my acceptance by him based on him not me.

Mike Yaconelli used to point out that Jesus' disciples spent so much time with him and knew him so well but still had no idea who he really was or what he was going to do. I think my blog has so far basically just promoted being dim and lost but hey hum maybe I can deal with that, I think Jesus wanted wild eyed childlike excitement not dull studious correct answers. I don't want to look clever or seem to know stuff, I want to be genuine and have that as how i seem.