Sleepy time

I have never been so tired as i was this last few weeks (hence the lack of blogging), i was left hankering for 3 things 1. Rach to be well, 2. Noah to feel loved and looked after and 3. sleep

I've not had much time lately (what with Rach's cancer, her swine flu, her line infections, time in hospital & Noah having a bug) and have felt tired. Thing is I pretty much always say I'm tired, as I think do most people as such I guess being tired is not really the interesting part, far more interesting is why someone is tired. I for once actually have an excuse for being tired but I think I need to make up less excuses for sleepiness generally and accept if I am going to feel tired then I need to be tired because I have eeked out all I could from the day. Ending it exhausted from activity of body, mind and soul rather than simply because I have been awake for ages or that I've allowed boredom to sap my energy.

A Chinese proverb is that 'man grows tired by standing still' and I think activity rather than lethargy can be far more productive. I love running and cycling but I don't have the energy to do them much except that of course after running I have truckloads more energy than when I left. You are unlikely to get out of life much more than you put in.

 one day when Rach is well I want to be one of those annoying people that don't seem to rest that are always doing something productive and seem so not be sleepy for it. Rach has been so ill with the chemo lately and so upset that my previous blog about finding gold in the hills of her suffering is being fully tested. I don't always feel it, but i have to believe it will work out for the better. I have to believe i was made well enough to stand up through this and keep Rach (and Noah) going at the same time. This is all pretty serious I am thinking next entry I'm gonna make inane and mindless!